The Butterfly Effect

Ever seen the movie- Butterfly Effect (2004) ?

It's a great movie, saying that a small tiny change can wind up a significant big impact on something.

It's boring these days, nothing much to do... Wake up, eat, computer and wait for the next day to pass by.

I felt like changing stuff today: Rearranging my workspace, modify my blog... I went into a lot of trouble trying to get the music player working on my blog.. haha

There's a strange feeling today, I don't really know what is it... It's urging me to make some changes, and I hope it's leading me the right way.

Chilling... Relaxing... No worries...

In your face Mr.SadShit!

17/12/2010

I don't really mean to tease anyone.

Mr.SadShit, has been my acquaintance since I was born, and I never liked him.

"It may seem childish to make up an imaginary friend/ enemy but hell, this is my blog and this is just another post after I got my inspiration." hehe

Went to 1Utama this afternoon to meet up with some of my old friends. Actually, the gathering was supposed to be a birthday celebration for HanJie, who is also an old friend of mine... But the real intention of me going to that gathering was to find a very special and good friend of mine- Nelson.

We had lots of fun: watched movies, ate at Seoul Garden...

Basic, but kick ass.

I'm finally getting over with all the past now...

Thank you, everyone who has helped me through the hard times.

Though some of you may not realize you've helped me, I still thank you all. :)

PD-Malacca Extravaganza 13-15 Dec 2010

PD: 13/12/2010

What a great day it was in PD, had a long but fast drive there.

My trip partners: Cynthia, Candy, Mandy, Jie Ying, Sez Kien, Hian Woon, Shun Zhi and Wai Keong stashed at an apartment owned by Mandy's parents. Not a 4 or 5-star place to enjoy but it was good enough for us. I kind of liked it there, the apartment could be a lot better if the management maintained the place.

After unpacking, we decided to head out to the Blue Lagoon, where Shun Zhi saw it on the web which was said to has blue sea water. Turned out, it wasn't blue at all... but rather brown and black...

We turned back, and saw the "alternate Blue Lagoon" on the other side of the first one. The heck it was blue! Just 2 mins walk away from the "Brown Lagoon", fortunately, there weren't much people there. We had fun at site, lots of fun.

At night, we had BBQ for dinner and it was great!

PD-Malacca: 14/12/2010

Drove to Malacca, picked up our tour guide- Christine.. haha

We stayed at her father's friend's rental house. RM250 per night, 3 rooms, 3 shower rooms, it had basically all the stuff we needed and wanted.

At night, we played truth... no dares.. haha

After everyone else were asleep leaving me, Woon, Cynthia, and Christine, we headed into my room for ghost stories. I scared Cynthia a few times... I guess, XD. Moving on, we told some of the stories of our own... our histories, sad ones, happy ones....

It was mainly Cynthia and I talking, since we both had gone through some relationship problems of our own. Mine was sad, but hers was worse.

_______________________________

Relationships are much more complicated than I think, and there are other people who have relationships more complicated than mine. Betrayal, vengeance and absurdity. Friends, family, love mates.

Blaming, not good, not cool.

"You can't keep blaming yourself, just blame yourself once and move on!"- Simpson, Homer J.

It's a joke, but I know it was meant for telling us to accept whatever that's happened and move on.

_______________________________

I couldn't imagine how hard it was for Cynthia to go through all those, she would need a lot of courage to do that. I admire her courage, in my mind, she has always been a "da jie da" to me, she's a strong girl, emotionally.

I should really learn from her, and hope to become a better person than I am now.

_______________________________

The one-month-gap really emphasizes how big this event is huh? XD

Sad Truth | Valued Lesson

Things just do not always go as expected:

It all seemed to be wonderful at start. The feeling of joy came to me from dawn and it did not end during my sleep.

My life went to a stage where I had never gone to, and I would not want to be anywhere else. I just wished everyday after could be like the 1st day- us being together.

It's such irony that a person who knows how to deal a lot of things easily. Dealing with friends is easy, getting new friends is easy, and even going crazy with a group of businessmen I do not even know is not hard! Maybe I was/ am being naive in terms of getting along with someone I like. I had always thought that things(love) would be the same after two people get together. If they liked each other then they should love each other par to the level of 'like'- It's just hard to understand.

The point is, love is tricky~ People can really get well and like each other pretty fast, but things might be different after they become couples. I know no one hopes to be that way but it's just something we need to take it as a fact and live with it.

Well, a friend of mine changed after she got sick. I did not know why, her attitude towards me just changed 180 in a weekend. I did not dare to ask, because I knew there was a great chance of me had done something wrong. I tried very hard to fix everything, the best I could to make her happy, to fix our relationship, but everything back-fired.

I remember reading a quote: "Let her go if you really love her." Hell, it did not say when! The fault was: I crossed the line, I got into a part of her personal space and she wanted me out, which I had no idea she wanted me to.

It was not her fault being selfish, I could had known her better. Everything just happened so fast, and I had no control over it.

I could have fixed everything

If I knew her better

If I did not ask for

What I should have worked for.

It's not her responsibility, it should be mine.

I brought us into this, and it should be me taking the responsibility.

I just wish non of these never happened. I am sorry.

心情好乱哦！:/

其实。。。

我想是我想太多了吧。

成功的企业家们都有一个想法：

think far, not near.

think big, not small.

THINK OF THE BIG PICTURE.

我正在怀疑这个理论能不能用在爱情上

有时候，

想多了，痛苦的，

是自己。

请别先说我自讨苦吃，

本少爷（开个玩笑啦）也不想的呀！

--------------------------------------------------------------

让我先告诉读者一则真人故事：

我朋友的亲戚呢，

她有了个男友，

都在一起一年了，

男方说：“我要出国升造四年。”

就这样，为了不让各自为了等待对方，

双方提议分手。

平常事吗！有什么大不了的呢？

实在得说，真的没什么特别。

但是他们俩，四年过后，

发生了一个很感人的事：

四年后，两人反复相遇，

刚好双方在这四年里没遇到可以拆散他们的缘分，

两年后。。。

他们结婚了。

--------------------------------------------------------------

这个故事，让我心动了。

没想到

这么多年没见， 这么多年没互相联络，

也可在繁忙的街市上

碰回他们永久的幸福

一生只有一次机会能够找到能够给我们幸福的人

很多人分开的原因都是因为有缘但无分

也有些人分开的原因很傻

感情的事，真拿我没办法。

所以呢

我决定了

我会尽全力，不去想

因为我相信：

每件事情，都是会有所大案的。

一切就顺其自然吧！

note: this is my 1st post typed in Chinese, please pardon any of the errors made in anyway. (Y)

—————————————————————

问题：

可爱的花生跟臭鸡蛋相比

哪个比较聪明？

Thank You For The Night

I had some problems today,

At some point, I felt that things were a bit different and the only way to know what is the problem is to... talk.

I think a lot, but maybe too much.

Like what you told me, things might not go as expected.

It hurts me, but it's just true.

So, I spent some time to think about it and I've decided to balance out my thoughts and cherish what I have now: You.

Who knows what might happen in the future. :)

Let's see where we take ourselves.

Thank you for making things clear, my beloved NUT. XD

Yay!

Love is no longer a fairytale to me. :)

But still, the fact is,

A girl like you is the one and only

Dazzled vision until you are in my sight,

Everyone has their own purpose

Looking after you will be my main purpose.

Entitled with the Lion Queen XD

No, you're more than that.

Every minute of us being together will be cherished.

I might not be able to give you everything you want, but I'll try... hehe :p

Love is something that needs to be treated equally.

Of what I get, of what I find, I will give it to you. :)

Vagueness between us shall not be present,

Every minute I will treat you as honest as possible. hehe

You are so important to me that

Obtaining you happiness will be my top priority,

Under any circumstances. :)

It's not a poem, it's just another post. But this post is specially for YOU.

A conspiracy with a funny truth

Went out with a bunch of friends to MidValley today.

There's a nut, in particular,

Was abnormally silent throughout the whole hang out.

I thought it was my fault or something because all we do is fight and challenge each other,

And she agreed to consider me as a stranger for about... a week?

Man, this challenge sucks.

Sounds easy, but I admit: I lost.

Haha... TURNS out I CAN'T (present and future fact) endure the feeling of her not talking to me. XD

It's just weird, and funny... At the end, she told me it was not of the 'game' that silent her.

It was something else.

But then again, Stupiak. :p

Cheers to nut~, Egg.

Things has never been better.

I'm feeling much better now, much much better than ever before.

Kicking my fresh start, or as i may: the new Kiong, version 2.5 haha

Not much of a diary writer, not much happened during this week.

Keep on going!

I'll just have to move on.

Some say it's sad of what happened to me, but I say it's another valuable lesson.

Thanks to you two, I finally found out that I was really stupid... If you know what I mean.

There are two separate worlds in this planet, the religious world and the open minded.

I always think that there will be a chance where these two distinct worlds mingled together, I am wrong.

I guess it is just a fact that I should accept and live with it.

I wonder what might she tell me??

Everything's calming down now, my life, my mind... except for... my heart.

I can't forgive myself for doing what I had done.

How could I be so stupid, how could I act so hastily?

I guess the fortune teller's right (It's a machine, no money for the real one :P)

-I'm an extremely sensitive person

Here's what the machine says:

I often show artistic or cultural interests.

I am extremely sensitive and have very fine taste.

Your sedentary habit risk ruining your health.

If I want people to speak well of myself, I should not speak well of myself. (I'm perasan, it's so true :P)

Even in old age I will continue to be successful and happy thanks to love and affection.

I am sometimes compelled to act against what you would wish and this creates nervous tension and anxiety.

Scores:

7/9- life

9/9- love (awesome)

5/9- luck

9/9- health (nice...)

4/9- sex (.... is this bad or what? sex as in...?)

I guess machines can't be this accurate. Though there are lots of things that can't be explained.

So, what I want to say is:

Keep an open mind and just be ourselves.

-Cheers,

Kiong

To a girl that means/meant a lot to me.

Truce or truth?

11.28pm 9/9/2010

Hey,

I’m telling you this because I want to apologize of what I did just now, being a jerk and not answering your calls.

I was really jealous and sad of what you and Anuar said about you only like Muslims or something. I mean, why can’t people be together because of their difference in religion? For me, I don’t care if a girl is different, or younger, or older a bit than me, it doesn’t mean that I and she won’t have the chance to be together. If she’s a nice girl, then…. You know…

I don’t know whether you’re joking, being serious, or the whole thing was planned for you to test me, I’ve failed your test. I couldn’t take it. Of every time you talk about liking somebody, I get jealous and angry. Well maybe I’m just selfish, I don’t know… Thinking that me and you are not going to work out, man… my heart was being struck be the pain I’ve never experienced before. I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave.

But that’s not it yet. After I got home, feeling angry and sad, I couldn’t think of anymore except me being deceived and all of the effort had gone to waste.

That’s the time when you called me, I was angry at that time, I know this whole thing makes me sound like a girl, but that’s just what really happened. I couldn’t think of anymore, I was sad too sad to answer your calls, I wasn’t sleeping and sorry, I lied. Each time you tried to reach me, I felt that there’s still some hope and at the same time, confused. I like you very much, but at the same time, hate was around me, obscuring my thoughts.

The reason I rejected Anuar’s invitation is because I wanted to have some time alone to think. And I fell asleep half way. After I woke up, everything seemed to come clear to me that of what I did was childish. I was wrong and I should have been better. Maybe you’re right; I’m not ready for all these yet, too young to establish close relationship with anyone. I’m still a bit sad right now, but you can just tell me if you’re looking forward to our relationship to be more than just friends. I’ll be ready for your answer anytime.

I wouldn’t want to force you to start a close relationship with me, because I know that a girl like you deserve better, you deserve the best. Just follow your feelings deep inside your heart, and I’ll respect whatever decision you make. Even if we both don’t work out, I’m glad and I’m happy to have a friend like you. Thank you, for you’ve made me become more mature in my thinking- a better person than I used to be.

Update.... My birthday celebration, My random outing, and My 1st hangout with a new bunch.

Best birthday yet!

After finals, which was the 13th of August,

it was the day which I celebrate my 18th birthday at Genting!

My birthday's on the 14th by the way.

Well, we went up Genting by bus and the sky tramp... fun journey...

Just kept talking with Wan Yee... I can't really remember what we talked about but it sure was funny...XD

That night was the most memorable night yet in my life!

My friends- Sez Kien, Candy, Hian Woon, Wan Yee, Desmond, Shiau Ling, Y.S., and Melvyn gave me a surprise party!

Though it was retarded (It took Desmond almost one minute to turn off all the lights one by one... and I thought it was the maintainers or something.. ==)

They really did a great job holding up that surprise party.

Thanks Guys!

Sorry guys if I embarrassed you all!!

Cutting short, that day was a funny day for me. Sadly I can't remember what's the date.

Shiau Ling planned an outing calling friends randomly including me.

Not knowing when was the outing and Not bothered to know when,

I almost screwed up the outing....XD

It was a lovely afternoon while I just woke up from my cozy warm bed (2pm)

As usual, I went downstairs brushing my teeth.

Then... my phone rang, it was shiau ling asking whether i'm attending the outing or not...

I talked on the phone while brushing my teeth, rushing.... I didn't even realise some toothpaste dripped onto the floor.. haha

I grabbed my lunch box and rushed to One Utama...

Ok... this is where the embarrassing part starts... because I couldn't finish my lunch quick enough, I had to bring along my lunch box and eat it while walking..

OMG the girls was embarrassed by my action!

I got complained and then I realise eating while walking in a shopping mall is not that good...

So I went to a corner and finished it... (Sorry Girls!)

By the way.. those girls are: Shiau Ling, Jun Ee, Annie and Phoebe

One more thing: I didn't know there were toothpaste on my shirt before Phoebe told me!!

@.@

Going out with my no.1 fan! Nadiah! and the new hang out ''gang''

Whoa! from the title... It's just awesome!

We- Me, Nadiah, Anuar, Sabrina, Tan Sri, Eric... went hanging out for the holiday..

We went for a horror movie, Descent part 2, and Nadiah's reaction was 'fantastic' (no offense)

then I went buka puasa with them at Madam Kwan's near Bangsar Village.

The Asam Laksa was awesome and spicy.. Nadiah kept saying I was crying~~

After that, I was left alone with Nadiah while the others went back... (what a spoiler)

We sat down at Devi's Corner to have a drink and talked for quite a long time...

We forced Anuar to join us.... for as long as 10 mins... He had to go for prayers after that..

So we were all alone again. haha

That was the 1st time me being left alone with a girl for so long.

Ok. So we got out of Devi's and we walked around Bangsar Baru while we talked.

We talked so much that we didn't even realise we talked for 1.5 hours straight!

Sorry Nadiah! I led you into trouble... (She's got curfew and it was already late for her to go back home)

Looking forward for the next hang out with y'all soon!

Old memoirs~

wow... i've changed
a lot.
Looking back at my written memories, i can't even recognize who i was, or how i was.
I was different in thinking, expressing, and writing too.
I guess i do have changed.
here's home of my forgotten memories which i find interesting.

May 21

Fresh start, Gruesome beginning

Everyone knows the First-Semester-Exam (FSE) is finally over, going higher than ever before.

Soon after the FSE I realize that I was being like a smart- ass. Everyone were tested for their devotion to the FSE, studying real hard just to get some colors. But, not for me. I played games throughout FSE and for my payoff, I get a second vowel instead of the first one! (vowels: A, E, I, O, U)

I know I deserve this ‘fete’ (reward). “And so…. I’m going to work harder“ – I thought of myself. That’s bullsh*t! I thought of that every time I fail a test.

Perhaps it is the time I must practice to take over my mind and think of FOOD, GAMES –>games (drop 30%), and BOOKS.

I still have a long run.

I hope I will be able to work this out. Welp, wish me luck then.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

不怕一万,只怕万一

2009年4月22日 星期三

今天很奇怪，和振权到Mutiara时，被一位女市场调查员拉住，是问关于升学之类的东西。

Walao,他的问卷有够长，超过20页，全部问题……然后问我们想读什么系时，回答了她，她居然

都不懂是什么，还问回我们！更意外的是，问卷全部是英文，她也是什么都不懂，都是我们自己

看自己答。她的华语也不太好，有看到写错字。这还不用紧，当我们回答时她又紧张（好像心

虚），不懂她在搞什么. 最好笑的是他问我家长的月薪是多少,无论我说多少,那个数目没有到达3000-5000之内才甘愿.lol...

而且一直很像很担心。又无法详细解释，一直在摧一直在摧, 我们根本不懂她要赶什么鬼。真是怪！

然后说到会联络我们时，又一幅超心虚的模样, 还死命交待我们:如果老板打电话给我的话,千千万万要跟他说家长的月薪有3000以上。回

答完了，我们居然还获得“回赠”！！真是怪，哪有人问

完东西还“回赠”我们的？看了她手头的一个名单，全部被问得都有“回赠”！！Walao, 考察都要奖

励，什么冬冬哦？！真得有够"L型”！！调查居然派一个外人（呱）来问，而且一直紧张到……真

得怪啊！很可能是什么诈骗集团，经济不好，什么冬冬都会有！！所以她给我填的那个联络单,我没有一个不是填假的.

Haiz... 还是做事情小心比较好.

CTS booze...

Today (monday) was freaking scary man....
Last night, I just managed to complete my slides by midnight, followed by my stressed out mind.
I had 0 secs left for my brain and i thought my head was going to explode...
In the end, i practiced once before i went upstairs and fell asleep.
And on judgment day, i was totally freaked out when ms. winnie called out my name....
I had no idea what to talked about....
But still, I managed to speak out my main points, and make people laugh ( i dont know why they laughed, there was nothing funny. == , seriously...)...
Well, i guess that presentation wasn't that bad after all :)

Something that's pretty interesting was
While I was doing my slides, on Saturday in PJ with Mel,
welp, we kind of had a lot of activities...
Eat, drink, sit, walk, and stuff.....

At night, we went to Tropicana City Mall, had our dinner at Nando's and finally decides to have a couple beers before we head back.

So we went for Kilkenny in Artista Restaurant & Bar. Quite awesome though...
Got 2 Kilkennys, watched rodeo, and an awesome live band "The Touch Mahal"
They were quite good!
Enjoyed that night, despite the low work productivity. XD

I hate my old minds.

Why so?

Whenever I find myself thinking of someone, or.. some other shit...

I just can't stop myself from being sad, or distracted.

I hate that feeling, I just hope that I can always be my optimum-self.

What have you become, kiong....

It seem's like you're going way off your purpose, your life.

Why would I throw my dignity away, just to stay longer with the person i'm thinking of?

Why would I give up everything else, just to fight for that person?

Why?

I'm just confused sometimes, not knowing how to deal with my personal problems...

I might be strong in many aspects, but I'm emotionally weak when it comes to 'relationships'.

Maybe I'll just run away? Or face it?

This is something that I should be thinking of.

Leadership camp

Went to Malacca..

Probably the best time ever in Malacca.

Best food out house, great activities, great people, great facilitators, great residents, friendly dogs.

I wish I can have one of them dogs... They're so friendly and playful.

Sherson, I will never forget what you had taught me.

I shall not fail your challenges, I shall not fail myself.

Team mates from THE ONE, I will improve myself.

All your compliments and your criticism are appreciated.

Thank you all.

Got Term-inated

2000 words + citations + paraphrasing + references = term paper = term-inated

It's just so confusing...

I've always been wondering,

How do I approach you?

How do I have you in my living?

How do I make you feel the same as I feel about you?

*haha

Who I am to you?

Your pet brother? Your teacher? or just merely a friend?

You don't know me much, and I'd like to know you more.

I want to know...

What keeps you going.

What touches your heart,

Encouraging you when you lost your morale,

Keeping you from getting a broken heart.

I get jealous sometimes...

I know this is pathetic,

But I just do.

Sometimes, I get jealous when you talk to or play with some other guys,

Sometimes, I get jealous of what you did.

But I guess these are natural...

I like you.

I like the way you dress,

I like the way you talk,

I like the way you play,

I like the way you study,

I like the way you are being naughty,

I like the way you ask me to buy you ice creams,

I like the way you laugh,

I like the way you are being shy,

I like the way you are being happy,

I like the way you are.

I hate you the same of what you hate.

I hate you when you are sad,

I hate you when you are angry,

I hate you when you are stressed,

I hate you when you are facing problems on your own,

I hate you when you hurt yourself.

I just can't stop thinking about you,

Day by day, night by night,

Except when I'm exercising though... :P

I want to be with you,

I want to stay with you,

I want to like you,

...Do you?

Shit man!

Mid term liao..
English tak sempat finish...
CTS tak sempat finish reading...
Mirco tak tau can do bo...
Business so freaking many...
seilo...
last minute work...
shit lo...

What to do?

Did something stupid and now I cannot solve it...
What should I do???

28/5, SAT- MINI RUSH/ MINI AMAZING RACE

I had the most 'Amazing race' that day...
I volunteered as a team escort for Mini Rush and was assigned to supervise a team throughout the race.
My team was great at the start, fast thinking.
But then things got wrong.....

1st task, Run to Wisma HELP's parking lot. - AWESOME RUN!

2nd task, Each member has to choose some awesome food: wasabi bread, sour pickle, lemon. - Team members started fighting a bit but still ok.

3rd task, get in KLCC, do a sudoku stuff. - Fast and easy, no fights

4th task, fill up incomplete shop names on 3rd and 4th floor. - Got scolded by guards because of running, teammates fought while doing this task... cheated behind me by referring to the directories = =...

5th task, find the 'man in black' (Jayshee) - Got caught by guard for walking... He said we're running... got held up at a place with some teams... i talked with the guard, he said we had no permission to run any activities there bla bla bla

6th task, after we got away from the guards, went to pasar seni to find a box in MCD... rushed like hell haha.(some other teams didnt get caught in KLCC and ran away)

7th task, find a European and sing a song with him. - So damn kacau... & embarrassing... haha but ok la...

8th task, get back to HELP.

9th task, we lost = =...

YAY

Internet finally come back after 2 weeks.
The reason is: I don't know why.
No internet is like living like a zombie man...
I don't know why, no internet nearly make me crazy. Even if got internet and I don't use it, at least I feel like got something still can do..


Siao liao.

19/5/2010
English class: Formed a group called "nonsense group"
Leader: Me
Members: Eugene
Hian Woon
Y.S.

after class, go play badminton.
haha Anuar, Hian Woon and me go play see saw, swings and slides after badminton to go back to our childhood life.. lol
this really make us like siao people.
luckily no one there or else i think they will call the police.

The War is Over... Yet

Semester Final's ended, 5 subjects... All over.

Got longing for getting passes though, very concerned about Malaysian Studies... Tough one...

Well, now that exams are over, it's time to train my skateboarding skills..

stopped for half a year, lost some techniques.. back to the basics...

Anuar, an indian lives near my house, said my board's wheels are rough... Definitely it's because I bought it cheap.

Got my safety gears too.... comes with full protection, now I get more courage to go faster.

Sports Carnival

!HMC Reps!

Being Sun Burnt is freaking uneasy.

A team of 10 including myself represented HMC department,

somehow i wanted to take part only in 4x2km... but eventually i joined 4 events...

4x2km, 4x100m, 4x400m and 400m race....

and that, is awful.

got foot blisters, face and hands got burned....

The Track of Heat & Sweat

That's us!

Road Relay 2nd Runner and Me, the 1st Runner! XD

What an ass

Ever feel like you want to do something but you just can't convince yourself to do so?

Well, thanks to Melvin for borrowing me a game - Mass Effect 2,and myself for being hooked up onto it, I kind of starting to put my studies at the back of my head already...

"Please stop being an ass already kiong!" that is what i keep saying to myself.

Well, after a day's struggle, i finally got a hold on myself.

Quiz's coming, final's coming... gonna start preparing for it now.

XD

2010: A New Start

Sometimes, things just can't get any better / worse

It's a fresh start here, 2010- a whole new number and a whole lot of new stuff. Fresh blog, fresh people, fresh life.

Got into college, HELP, met dozens of new friends, cool dudes and girls, pretty fillies, lecturers...
Things are a lil' different from high school though, back then we were treated like naive people, teachers used to nag each and every students for homework, we were spoon fed, the way they taught us, everything was so easy.

But here in college, things are a lil' more complicated... we look out for ourselves, we don't get much guidelines, students help each other more than the lecturers do, less homework count but more pages in one...

We'll just need some time to adapt, and for some time later everything will be just fine..... i hope...